Buy 
Follow
1B
Total supply
1,000,000,000
One bull, finely divided. There will never be another.
Dept. of Reasonable Market Behaviour · Containment file 105
TOO MUCH BULL. NOT ENOUGH BOTTLE.
One full-sized bull. One tiny bottle. Cork status: concerned.
Solana · fair launch on pump.fun · 0% tax · LP burned
THE AGITATION TEST
RIG 05
SHAKE
0100
0.0PSI
CORK: SEATED
BEST 0.0 PSIRELEASES 0
Grab the bottle and shake it. Pressure bleeds off the moment you stop.
Filed under: it was not settling
THE INCIDENT
The Department received several complaints about an excessively confident bull. He charged through meetings, frightened the risk managers, and refused to use the designated bearish entrance. Their solution was elegant: compress him into turquoise glass, seal it with the strongest cork available, and display him somewhere harmless.
- DAY 014 PSI
Compression
Specimen folded into 400 ml of turquoise glass. Cork seated. Shelf labelled contained. Photographs taken for the newsletter.
- DAY 123 PSI
Quiet
The bull sat still, one cheek pressed against the glass. The Department circulated a memo congratulating itself on an elegant solution.
- DAY 241 PSI
Bubbles
Tiny bubbles formed around his horns. Logged as decoration. No action required. Confinement did not make him calmer — it made him carbonated.
- DAY 368 PSI
Cork creep
The cork measured four millimetres higher than Monday. The Department assumed the bottle was settling.
- 09:30—
Containment failure
The cork launched across the room. Warm mist poured from the neck and the bull reached full size before his front hooves touched the floor. The bottle remained perfectly intact. The department did not.
Turns out you can bottle a bull.
You just cannot keep him there.
Vessel schedule
CONTAINMENT SPECS
Everything the Department wrote down before it stopped writing things down.
0%
Tax
0 BUY / 0 SELL
The Department charges nothing. It also never did anything.
100%
Liquidity
BURNED
The key left the building at the same velocity as the cork.
NIL
Contract
RENOUNCED
Nobody is in charge. This is consistent with prior events.
LIVE PRESSURE TELEMETRYwarming up
Price—
Market cap—
24h change—
24h volume—
Readings appear here the moment the bottle is opened on pump.fun and Dexscreener finishes indexing the pair.
Approved handling
DECANTING PROCEDURE
Four steps. Do not skip the fourth.
- 01
Get a glass
Install Phantom or any Solana wallet. Desktop or phone — both hold pressure equally badly.
- 02
Fill it
Send SOL to your wallet from any exchange. A little is plenty. The bull does not check the balance.
- 03
Uncork
Swap SOL for $BTLBULL on pump.fun or Jupiter, using the contract address at the top of this page.
- 04
Stand back
You now hold a pressurised asset. Observe it on Dexscreener from a sensible distance.
Projected vessel behaviour
PRESSURE STAGES
A roadmap, in the only unit that matters.
Fair launch on pump.fun. Chart goes live. The shelf gets its label and the lid goes on.
14 PSIHolders arrive, memes multiply, the chart develops opinions. Bubbles form around the horns and are filed as decoration.
41 PSIListings, partnerships, the kind of volume that makes a risk manager stand up. Four millimetres on Monday. Eleven by Thursday.
68 PSIThere is no plan for this stage. There never is. The bottle survives. Nothing standing near it does.
09:30THE SHELF IS FULL. THE BOTTLE IS NOT.
Every holder is another millimetre of cork travel. The Department would like you to wait. The Department has been wrong before.
